Yesterday was a typical Sunday run:
1. Go out for medium length trail run. Check.
2. Don all black outfit so that I look like a Badass Running Ninja. Check.
3. Add touches of pink and white so that I do not scare/intimidate other runners. Check.
4. Engage in inappropriate touching of an unsuspecting fellow runner by readjusting his moobs which were being squished by his Camelback. (No photo evidence available. I hope.) Check.
5. Cause said unsuspecting fellow runner to freeze in horror and allow inappropriate pectoral readjustment. Check.
6. Ponder possibility of needing a lawyer for potential lawsuit for sexual harassment in a National Park. Check.
7. Realize I AM a lawyer, and once again, realize why I no longer practice law. Check.
8. Have socially awkward moment with passing running by flinching and screaming when he attempts to give me a fist bump which I mistake for an attempted punch to the temple. Check.
9. Climb on top of very high water tower to strike badass pose. Check.
10. Freak out and need help climbing off. Check.
11. Run up steep and scary trail. Check.
12. Freak out at top and turn around. Check.
13. Show fellow runners how badass I am by relaxing casually on downed tree at the end of run. Check.
14. Fall off said tree. Check.
Happy Running!
Mom, ultrarunner, four-time US 24 Hour National Team member, adventure athlete, food writer. Graduate of the Pro Cooking Program at the New School of Cooking, Los Angeles. Will run for food.
{ 10 comments }
Ok, #8 made me laugh, and #10 is sooooo me.
When one of my teammates had to wear a speedo to rappel in a race I couldn’t resist poking one of his moobs. He didn’t appreciate my attention, but was quickly distracted by the sheer horror of being nearly naked AND hanging from a cliff.
Ha ha ha. I wish you lived close enough so I could run with you. I would NEVER have to worry about the Pointer Sisters pointing in different directions. I’m so glad though that USA has someone keeping all the ducks (moobs) in a row.
I had my own socially awkward moments this morning. When you turn 50 apparently it’s the done thing to have to kiss nearly everyone in your running group. The only thing is that I didn’t know who to touch sweaty flesh with and who to air kiss. And I pretty much got it wrong every single time. Having that deep internal cringe thing happen whenever I think of it.
Good day on the trails:)
Glad to know I’m not the only “inappropriate toucher,” Kate! “)
Yes, Char, all that sweating does increase the odds of social awkwardness, doesn’t it 🙂 ?
Yes, Olga! Very fun day indeed!
Love the black & pink! Love the awkward moment even more. I was scared for you seeing you up on that water thing. Yikes!
Unfortunately, Marcia, the awkward moments seem to be more common than the “brave” ones :).
Ha! You are so fun.
If only my running group agreed 🙂
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