This Title Would Have Cuss Words If My Mom Didn’t Read My Blog

by Carilyn on March 8, 2013

Really. Because this week just feels like one of those weeks where you should use a lot of cuss words (do people still use the word “cuss,” or am I just old?).

Not that it was a bad week. In fact, it was a pretty good week. But sometimes I just feel like being all Lara Croft Tomb Raider, especially when I dork out and act like an insane person on a run. I think if I was a cusser, I would have been able to kick that run in the butt (but I would have used a better word)!

Tomb-Raider-lara-croft-tomb-raider-the-movies-2260366-1280-1024

Seriously, this girl wouldn’t have been a big spaz on her trail run!

 

Week in Review (or Awesome things I spent my time on when I should have been running/working):

Tweeting with the Funniest Chick on the internet.

PP twitter

 

Who else could make me spew GU out of my nose (seriously disgusting) AND get me in trouble at the same time?

Finding out that the reason we have to take Probiotics now is because we don’t have outhouses! Okay, indoor plumbing, and sinks, and soap have kept us from getting the plague and stuff, but it has also kept us from ingesting all the “necessary” cooties we need. Yes, we’ve all heard that we are using too many “antibacterial” products and taking too many antibiotics, but really, the only way we’re going to solve this problem is by building ourselves an outhouse. Or taking up ultrarunning, because you spend a lot of time running in the woods with NO amenities and then you eat snacks from bowls that EVERY OTHER RUNNER in the race has stuck his hands in, too. Instant immune system boot camp. You’re welcome.

Lying to the lady at Target that the Rogaine I was buying was for Hubz (who unfairly has a full freakin’ head of hair). I’m not actually sure if my hair is thinning, but I have always had a near-afro, so the fact that it is becoming “manageable” is making me nervous. Better to be proactive, don’t you think? Though the warnings about “possible facial hair growth” make me a little nervous. With my luck, I’ll end up looking like Harry Goldenblatt (Charlotte’s husband for those of you who have jobs) on Sex and the City – all eyebrows:

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Anyway, for those of you running long tomorrow, or racing, BE LARA CROFT (unless you’re a dude, and then be…whoever is a badass and scary – in a good way)!

Happy Running!

 

 

 

 

{ 6 comments }

Pensive pumpkin March 8, 2013 at 11:18 am

You’ve got to stop this. It was bad enough when you just liked stupid men. Ugh. I’ve gotta strap you in a chair like in Zoolander and convince you to kill David Beckham with a fork or something. But now you’re romanticizing the women who perpetuate this myth. Brad Pitt? Also too stupid to legally give consent. Ugh.

But I promised. So. Um. Jason Statham? I could totally duct tape his mouth shut. No problem. We could not talk for hours.

Now go run. And tweet me AFTER next time, for goodness sake. I want coach to like me.

Carilyn March 8, 2013 at 11:27 am

Okay, I totally agree about Brad Pitt. But I’m shallow, so you have to cut me some slack on Becks. I’m sorry, when he’s playing soccer (the only legitimate reason to actually watch the sport), he’s beautiful. And he’s not speaking, so it’s Win/Win.

Char March 8, 2013 at 11:45 am

I’m glad that my less than stellar hygiene habits are not all bad. I can just explain away the nose picking and lack of hand washing and my extreme displays of affection for my dog as a cheap way of getting my probiotics,

Will totally channel Lara for this morning’s long run.

Carilyn March 8, 2013 at 11:52 am

Ha! Char you are too funny (and a little gross – in a good way 🙂 ).

Go put the hammer down on your run!

Rebecca March 8, 2013 at 8:30 pm

No doubt ultrarunning (or just dumb marathon training) is the answer to our *lack of* germ problem. I cringe at myself about the fact that I stop by questionable bathrooms out on my runs which have no soap and then immediately reach into my fanny pack, grab a few shot bloks and stuff them directly into my mouth. Gross. But I’m healthier for it, right?
Yes, I would totally be using more cuss words if my mom didn’t read my blog, but she doesn’t read this one, so sh$t. (I can’t even cuss on your blog; I don’t know what is wrong with me…)

Carilyn March 9, 2013 at 9:51 am

I know, Rebecca, it’s tough to run and not have to use “questionable” bathrooms. I just tell myself it’s part of my “training” 🙂

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