Random Musings,  Uncategorized

Moobs Are Exempt From the Good Samaritan Law, Apparently

Hubz: So, I see you were involved in another “inappropriate touching” incident.

Me: Who told you that?

Hubz: Um, I do actually read your blog once in awhile.

Me: How come you only read it when there is something I’m trying to keep from you, but never when I’m trying to suck up?

Hubz: Men’s intuition, I guess.

Me: There’s no such thing.

Hubz: Anyway, haven’t we already agreed that you were going to avoid inappropriately touching people?

Me: Yes, but I couldn’t help it this time. His moobs were all out of whack.

Hubz: *sigh*

Me: Seriously, he would have ended up injured if I hadn’t stepped in and done a readjustment.

Hubz: I thought you promised to quit touching people weirdly. No more using spit to clean someone-who-is-not-your-child’s face, no more rubbing lipstick off women’s teeth, and no more pointing out boogers in people’s noses.

Me: Come on, I have to point out boogers. That’s just gross.

Hubz: No! No boogers, no lipstick, no moobs.

Me: Okay, but I’m still pointing out toilet paper trailing out of the back of people’s pants in public places.

Hubz: You’re the only person on the planet who has EVER walked around in a public place with toilet paper hanging out of the back of her pants! I seriously doubt it will ever happen to someone else!

Me: Wow! Making me be a person who doesn’t help others AND mocking me for one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. Nice. Real nice.

Hubz: Look, just quit touching people’s boobs, okay?

Me: Fine. If you can live with yourself while being a BAD samaritan then who am I to judge?

Hubz: I seriously doubt you’re going to win any medals for wiping ketchup off someone’s face with spit.


Happy Running!





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