I love living in LA – the weather is phenomenal (most of the time), the people are warm and friendly, the food is fantastic, and EVERYONE runs! Or at least look like they run. Here, there are basically two ways to look cool: be completely “done” all the time (makeup, hair, $800 shoes, etc.), or wear workout gear. Since I hardly ever shower, we know option one is not happening. But that’s okay in LA. You fit in just as well in Lululemon as you do in Louboutin.
Because working out, or looking like you work out, is so popular in Los Angeles, the LA Marathon is a huge draw. Like all big city marathons, you get the hardcore runners who travel for races. But you also get a lot of “locals” who just want to be seen running a marathon. Oprah, Lance, and Apollo Ono have made running a marathon a “celebrity” activity. And what better place than LA to be a part of it?
So, after living here for a couple of years now, I thought I’d share a few things I have learned while running with “the beautiful people” of Los Angeles. As I found out, there are special rules that apply to running in this special city:
1. A fake tan does not protect you from getting a real sunburn. Wear sunscreen.
2. Do not ask the woman next to you if it’s hard to run with implants.
3. Carry a camera. Celebrity sightings will be abundant, both during the run, and along the course at restaurants, cafes, and rehab clinics. This is your one chance to chase down a celebrity while sweating and looking deranged where you won’t be slapped with a restraining order.
4. Don’t ask a celebrity, “Does your manager know you look like this when you sweat?”
5. If you’re trying to land that part on Law and Order Los Angeles, don’t let the on-course photographers take your picture. You don’t want casting agents Googling your picture and seeing you with drool coming out of the side of your mouth and salt encrusted shorts.
6. Don’t think that wearing makeup on the course will help the situation mentioned above. It is humid here – by Mile 10 you will look like the Joker.
7. Don’t ask the guy with the crazy eyes running next to you, “So, I guess you had plenty of time to train for this since you got fired from Two and a Half Men?”
8. Don’t assume the tight clump of people running just ahead of you is a pace group. In LA, stars actually run with an entourage. Yes, I’m serious.
9. Don’t ask for an autograph during the race. Celebrities get really cranky when you stalk them while they are running. Like throwing-their-cell phone-at-your-head kind of cranky. Not that I know firsthand, or anything.
10. Celebrities are people too – even if they don’t show it. Or can’t. Just because they still look extremely happy at mile 20 doesn’t mean they haven’t hit the wall. Botox.
Mom, ultrarunner, four-time US 24 Hour National Team member, adventure athlete, food writer. Graduate of the Pro Cooking Program at the New School of Cooking, Los Angeles. Will run for food.
{ 8 comments }
You captured the LA Marathon crowd, for sure. Looks like they may get drenched again this year.
Thanks, Anne! And I just saw the forecast – so glad I’m not running it this year 🙂
This is hilarious! Almost makes me want to come run LA someday. Really? Bad weather again this year? Boo.
I know – it was crazy last year, and now they’re saying it might hail! Poor LA Marathon. Weather is perfect 99% of the year, but for some reason, this weekend is always a problem.
I know someone who said he trained for the L.A. Marathon by running behind buses and called it smog training. The thing that shocked me a bit about L.A. came from when I was auditioning for a show and the guy who was in charge of casting, who looked to be a well-preserved 35 years old, mentioned that he booked acts for Saturday Night Live in 1978, making him older (not a decade younger) than me; he’d had rather good plastic surgeries – it’s not just the stars, but the people behind the scenes as well, who have the “Hollywood lifestyle.”
Loved this, especially #2. 🙂
Sooo not like the St. Louis area, where unless you’re with other like-minded people, interest in running a marathon (or more) makes you something of an oddity.
One of these days I hope you will “spill the beans” about your former life, Steve. Inquiring minds want to know1 🙂 And yes, there is a lot of plastic surgery going on here. But I’m from Texas, so I’m used to it!
Same in Texas, Kate! I was surprised at how many people run here! The great part about it is that there are always people out and about, so you feel like you can run pretty much any time of day. So nice!
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