Random Musings

My Teeth Are Flossed, My Butt Is Big, My Life Is Over

Me: I’m getting old.

Hubz: We all are.

Me: No, I’m getting old faster.

Hubz: I don’t even know what that means.

Me: It means I caught myself flossing.

Hubz: Um, okay.

Me: I was sitting there on the edge of the bed last night, flossing, and I realized, I freakin’ floss! Every day!

Hubz: Shouldn’t that be something to be proud of?

Me: No! It means I’m old!

Hubz: Oooooookay. First, if I’d known you weren’t flossing every day, I would have stopped kissing you. Or at least gotten better dental insurance. Second, most people are proud they floss regularly.

Me: Well I’m not. Only old people remember to floss every day. Right before they take their nightly Metamucil.

Hubz: Right. I’m sure that’s completely false, but I don’t have time to argue with you.

Me: This is like the butt conversation, isn’t it?

Hubz: I don’t even want to know.

Me: It’s like when I ask you if my butt looks big. You are always suddenly very late for something.

Hubz: I really do have to go. Try to be proud of yourself for flossing daily.

Me: Yeah, and you try to be proud of yourself for …driving slow!

Hubz: mumble mumble

Me: Did you just say, “Help me” under your breath?!

Hubz: No, I said, “Have a good day, sweetie.”

Me: You are totally big butting me.

Happy Running!

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