I May Still Be Insane, But I’m Less Puffy (and I can see my computer screen)

It’s New Year Resolution Post time, right? I mean, I didn’t miss it, did I? Surely there is at least a one week grace period. Since we’re all trying to be “better people” (or cool like Beyonce), I think that a little grace isn’t too much to ask for. Please.

Why do we always feel like we need a clean slate to do things a little better? Or at least a little differently? Isn’t the best, most appropriate, time to start something new immediately after you just screwed up royally, even if it is August 12th or May 26th? Why do we feel the need to “gear up” and “get our heads around” the concept of doing better?

Because it’s hard. Damn hard.

Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result may be the definition of insanity, but it feels good. Damn good. I don’t know about you, but I do the same thing over and over BECAUSE I ENJOY IT! Now, I may not enjoy the result, but clearly I enjoy the process of repeatedly banging my head against the wall.

Take that, Dr. Phil.

But at some point, we have to examine just how much pleasure we are actually getting from the repeated self-inflicted noggin’-bashing that is our habitual behavior. Do we really enjoy eating all that sugar when we know we feel like pregnant Godzilla 15 minutes later? Is checking our phone at 2 a.m. really making us feel connected to “people” (i.e., strangers) on the internet?

I don’t think so.

But I do it anyway.

Or, rather, I did.

Because, you see, my fellow nerdos, I gave up sugar 6 1/2 weeks ago. And legumes. And all the other white food, like potatoes and bread and pasta and rice AND EVERYTHING I FIND DELICIOUS IN THIS WORLD!!!

And I’m much saner, can’t you tell?

Seriously, though, Tim was having a few health issues and we decided it was time. Time for me to stop making brownies and cookies and pie (Oh, my!) three times a week. We decided that we were adults and could cut out stuff that was making us feel bad. At least for awhile. At least until we could see if it made a difference.

And it did make a difference (damn it). We both lost a bunch of weight (not the goal, but an unexpectedly pleasant side effect). The weird unexplained inflammation that I’ve had for years in my fingers and elbow went away in three days. THREE days! Tim was able to run without pain in his ankles for the first time in TEN years! I stopped feeling hangry and shaky between meals. Tim had clear sinuses for the first time in thirty years – yes, thirty years (and three surgeries later).

We don’t know if it is the wheat or the sugar (or something else entirely) that was causing the problems, but we don’t care. We are both just happy and grateful for a reprieve from so many annoying symptoms that we were told were “just part of getting older.” And Tim is incredibly grateful that he can still eat bacon and steak, even if it means he can’t have beer.

I don’t know how long we will do this, but it just makes me happy that, even in middle age, we can still find new ways to do new things and get different results. I don’t mind being insane, but I’d like my type of insanity to vary now and then.

But yes, I’m still checking my phone at 2.m.

Oh, Dr. Phil….??