Don’t Say Keto! Don’t Say Keto! (Sorry, I Said It)

by Carilyn on January 3, 2018


So I’ve received a lot of questions and comments about what I posted yesterday regarding my eating. I really hate getting into “diets” or food programs on the internet, because, first, I’m a foodie and don’t really think that any food is “bad,” and, second, I truly believe everyone is different and thrive from all sorts of ways of eating. But, I also understand that, since I put it out there that we are eating differently right now, I should explain. Or try to.

Y’all know I’m not great with the details. I don’t log, chart, graph or keep track of anything. Unless I went to the doctor, I NEVER weighed myself. I have no idea how many calories are in anything, and until a couple of months ago, I had no idea how many carbs were in anything, either.

All of this is to say, that what I’m about to tell you is NOT the sciencey version of anything. It is me doing a TON of research, making a decision, and then using myself (and Tim, poor soul) as a guinea pig to see what seems to work and what doesn’t. There are WAY more specific instructions/plans/articles on the interwebs than I can ever hope to replicate. Specificity and I are NOT friends.

Originally, about two months ago, Tim and I decided just to cut out sugar and alcohol. Like I said yesterday, he was having some health stuff – nothing scary, but annoying nonetheless. And I had a persistent Buddha belly that seems to be the gift-that-keeps-on-giving of middle age. I loved wine and Reese’s, but I was sure Tim would lose enthusiasm quickly and I could resume weekend cocktail hour and working my way through Dorie Greenspan’s Baking tome.

Uh, no.

Six and a half weeks later we are still at it, dognabit! And to be honest, I can’t believe it. Ask anyone who knows me, I flat-out love food waaaaaaaaay too much ever have thought I would give more than a passing glance at a restrictive way of eating. Sure, I’ve tried vegan (4 days), and Paleo (5 days), but that had more to do with curiosity than an actual desire to improve myself or my health. And frankly, both were HARD. I don’t like hard. I’m inherently lazy (see paragraph about not tracking anything).

What we finally settled on was keto, or the ketogenic diet as all the smart people call it. There is really only one “rule” to it: consume less than 20 grams of carbs per day. How is that even freakin’ possible, you ask? (I know, I know!) Milk has 9 grams of carbs, for frick’s sake! How do you not get so hungry that you find yourself sprawled on the kitchen floor, an empty tub of Blue Bell Cookie Dough ice cream resting on your belly, with no clue how you got there? (Not that this has EVER happened to me on other ways of eating.) How?!


Yes. I said the “F” word.

Fat. Fat. Fat.

Keto is Low Carb High Fat.

Now, before you go all crazy and start sending me articles and videos warning me about heart attacks, strokes and a permanent troll hump, please do a little research on keto. I am NOT suggesting it to anyone, and I’m a little freaked out about the high fat myself (I AM a child of the 80s, after all – low fat, high protein for the win), but I think it’s worth looking into. With an open mind. With a temporary intermission from any of those messages from our past that made us think butter was, in fact, Satan’s catnip. Just look.

I don’t know how long Tim and I will keep doing this. Maybe four more hours. Or maybe for a year. Or maybe forever. Unlike Oprah, I can not say, “What I know for sure,” about this (or pretty much anything), because I HAVE NO IDEA. I simply know that right now it seems to be solving almost ALL of the problems we were struggling with over the last few years. And even problems I wasn’t aware were problems because I was told it was just part of getting older. Gone. With no struggle.

And that is the most amazing part. With no “rules,” other than the less-than-20-grams-of-carbs thing, even I can follow it. I just don’t eat blatant carbs (you know who you are, pasta, rice, and cake!), and instead, eat zoodles, cauliflower rice, and treats made out of almond flour and coconut. At the beginning, I kept it even simpler, eating eggs, bacon, avocado, meat, cheese and veggies. Bam. That’s it.

And frankly, that’s all I can handle. Life is already too complicated without freaking out about food.

Finally, for those who care, I’ve lost 14 pounds, my Buddha belly is gone (THAT is what I can’t believe), all arthritis/swelling is gone, and all stomach issues (which I’ve suffered from since I was young) have disappeared. And I can eat butter without worrying that I am going to hell. Win. Win. Win.



{ 1 comment }

Juan Escobar January 3, 2018 at 11:25 am

Very interesting. Look forward to running with you again if I can keep up now that you are 14 pounds lighter. Happy New Year!

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