As I was suffering from the plague yesterday, I felt it necessary to spend a day in bed. Because I heard that is how long it takes to recover from the plague.
And everyone (i.e., Hubz) says it takes lots of NyQuil. And because I ALWAYS do what I’m told, I downed some of the magic blue elixir, grabbed the remote, and settled in for a day of reality TV National Geographic.
But after a few hours of enlightened television viewing, I started to get antsy and convinced myself I had too much to do to lie in bed. I needed to get busy. Unfortunately, my plague-appropriate dosage of NyQuil didn’t agree. Let me just say, a morning of the Real Housewives of Orange County coupled with heavy doses of nightime cold medicine can lead to some questionable choices.
Things I Did But Shouldn’t Have While Drugged Up and Under the Influence of Reality TV:
* Make phone calls I will later regret. During hour 3 of RHOOC, I removed my socks and examined my ugly runner’s feet and decided some changes needed to be made. A call to my running buddy/podiatrist, though, was unsatisfying when he informed me there was no such thing as an “Arch Augmentation” or a “Long-ass Second Toe Nose Job Type Procedure”. Sheesh. The Real Housewives have been able to transform their ENTIRE bodies and I can’t even get my ugly toes beautified. Something about how we need all those stupid knuckles.
* Attempt a run while under the influence. Since we have cable in the garage, I decided I could continue my TV viewing while getting in a nice easy run on the treadmill. Smart, right? I don’t know how long that stuff takes to wear off, but I’m pretty sure I left a dent in the sheet rock when I flew off the back of the treadmill. Lesson: Never confuse NyQuil for GU just because they both come in pretty colors.
* Decide that green is the new pink and order 5 running shirts in varying shades of lime. Yes, lime. That’s what the ladies of the OC were wearing, so it seemed like a good idea. Somehow I forgot that lime is the color we wear so that we don’t get hit by a bus when running in the dark. It is NOT A FASHION STATEMENT for runners. Well, I guess I’m now plenty prepared for the night hours of my next 24 Hour race around a closed loop course.
* Make dinner for Jim Bob and the entire Dugger clan. During my RHOOC marathon, they kept showing commercials for 19 Kids and Counting and somehow my brain became infiltrated with their ways – like stocking entire walk-in closets with toilet paper and owning a full-size bus just for family outings. When I started dinner prep, Michelle Dugger’s voice just kept urging me on, “You have to make sure you make enough for everyone. Don’t want anyone to go hungry.” And since I already have a bit of a twang of my own, her voice matched the one in my head, and I inadvertently made enough stew for 20 people. And there are only 4 of us.
When Hubz got home, saw the industrial size pot of stew on the stove, the dent in the sheet rock, and my bright blue tongue, he sent me to bed, yelling up at me, “And don’t even think about getting your toes fixed. That’s just weird.”
Some people just have no sense of reality.
Happy Running!
Mom, ultrarunner, four-time US 24 Hour National Team member, adventure athlete, food writer. Graduate of the Pro Cooking Program at the New School of Cooking, Los Angeles. Will run for food.
{ 6 comments }
I take then that you are not a lady who likes pedicures?
Pedicures require toenails, Kent, of which I am in short supply 🙂
The housewives are right: lime green is hot! It’s the Pantone color of the year so youll be styling. I hope one of them is Nyquil green!
Thank you, Marcia! I feel better! 🙂
Yes, I try to avoid those shows for all of the above reasons. My imagination is crazy enough on its own— I definitely don’t need the inspiration! I hear you about the ugly feet. I keep meaning to go to the pedicure place down the street, but I am always so paranoid that they are talking bad about me in Vietnamese because my toes are so trashed.
I know, Rebecca! I once had one of the women lift my ugly foot in the air to show to the woman working next to her. They both made the universal “gross” face, so I never went back 🙂
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