It’s 2 a.m. and I’m awake. No, I’m not in the middle of a hundred miler. And no, I don’t have to pee. Okay, I do have to pee – I’m 44 years old! Give me a break! – but that’s not why I’m awake.
I’m awake because my Pre-Race Squirrel is tap dancing in my head. He comes to visit before every race, and even before some long training runs. He wakes me up with his incessant need for attention and “someone to talk to”. Sheesh.
Our conversation is going something like this:
You’re racing tomorrow. Aren’t you nervous?
Well, I’m not really racing, but trying to go for a solid, hard effort.
Yeah, right. You’re too competitive. You’ll push too hard and then have to take time off to recover. This was stupid.
I know, but I need to do it. I need to push myself.
But it’s supposed to be hot and you can’t afford any time off if it wipes you out – and I’m sure it will.
I know. But I’m going to be smart.
Western States is only 5 weeks away.
I know.
And it’s hard. And on trails. And you suck on trails.
I know.
And now you’re doing this? How totally idiotic.
Be quiet!
And you’re not really in very good shape yet. Kinda late to be getting in gear, don’t ya’ think?
I’m trying to get there – that is why I’m doing this!
What if you get lost? It’s out in the middle of nowhere.
I won’t.
You always get lost.
I WON’T!
What if you get eaten by something?
Nothing is going to eat me.
I hear there are rattlesnakes. You might get bitten by a snake and then die.
I grew up in the desert. I’m used to snakes.
That doesn’t make you invincible. And if you don’t get bitten, you’ll probably fall down and hurt yourself.
Enough. Get out of my brain and let me sleep!
You haven’t even packed yet. I bet you’re going to forget something, something important.
I will pack in the morning. Get off my back.
And it’s a long drive.
It will be fine.
This is going to suck.
Shut up.
And now you aren’t getting any sleep.
SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!
Luckily for me, the Pre-Race Squirrel is a huge fan of The Nanny which is on in the middle of the night. With one cupcake, and a thirty minute dose of Fran Drescher, I was able to distract him, and eventually went back to sleep.
Do you have a Pre-Race Squirrel in your head? How do you deal with it?
Happy Running!
Mom, ultrarunner, four-time US 24 Hour National Team member, adventure athlete, food writer. Graduate of the Pro Cooking Program at the New School of Cooking, Los Angeles. Will run for food.
{ 10 comments }
No I usually don’t have to deal with pre-race squirrels, but I’m sure thats because I’m 57 and have to take some sleeping aides in order to “stay” asleep on any given night anyway. Falling asleep is never a problem – I hit our Tempur-Pedic and I’m out before the room is dark. The sleep aides help me stay that way for the most part, but if I had them, I bet they would sound exactly like yours. Good luck with that run!
I always tried the idea of racing myself to shape. And I rarely kept up on promise to not push too hard because I, too, am competitive. And really, 5 weeks is crap-load of time!
You’ll kick-butt, even with little sleep!! Good Luck!!!
Rob gets pre-race tapeworm! The tapeworm takes over and tends to think that Rob needs to fuel up to the extreme before events. Event before last, his tapeworm undid him by demanding a football sized and loaded baked potato, a porterhouse steak, and a loaf (yes, entire loaf) of cherry bread. Oh, and cheesecake. He didn’t run too fast the next morning. At his last event the tapeworm only wanted an entire bag of peanuts at 10 pm the night before. That turned out ok on event day. So he too wrestles with his demon. Yours is cuter.
Rob’s loving wife
Theresa
That squirrel was a chatty little fellow, wasn’t he?! I’ve often wished that there was an off switch to my brain for nights like that. I’ll have to try The Nanny next time.
He is soooooo chatty! I wonder where he gets that from? 🙂
That is too funny, Theresa! I think Rob picked me as his coach because I encouraged him to eat a lot of junk! 🙂 But a whole loaf of cherry bread is a little much, even for me 🙂
Hey, Amy! Thanks for stopping by! It was great to see you, and the pics of your beautiful baby, in EP! See you soon!
I hope 5 weeks is enough, Olga. I definitely have some work to do!
Thanks, Kent! I have to get up a few times per night, too – so frustrating!
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