Hubz: So what’s your running plan this weekend?
Me: I’m trying to coerce convince the guys to do the international tour.
Hubz: But that involves going into Mexico.
Me: Uh, yeah. That’s why it’s called “international”.
Hubz: Why don’t you just do the Tour de El Paso?
Me: Because that’s what we did last weekend. In fact, that’s what gave me the idea. When we were by the bridge, we started talking about how much fun that run is and how we hadn’t done it in awhile.
Hubz: Is that possibly because there’s a drug war going on over there?
Me: It’s totally calmed down.
Hubz: Um, didn’t stray bullets hit our City Hall?
Me: Yes, and that just proves my point!
Hubz: And what exactly is your point?
Me: That if the bullets are coming across the border, I could get shot at here, too. In fact, I’m probably in more danger just running my regular runs because I wouldn’t be expecting to get shot.
Hubz: This is ridiculous. You are not crossing the border to run. Besides, last time you almost got stuck over there because you weren’t carrying ID and you had white powder all over your shorts.
Me:Â Yeah, but once the dogs sniffed me and realized it was just salt from my dissolved Endurolytes, they let me go on.
Hubz: You were in line for like 4 hours! That’s not a run, that’s a morning at the DMV!
Me: It was only like 2 hours, and I’m an ultrarunner – it was a rest break.
Hubz: And didn’t someone try to poison you?
Me: No! They just gave me a fake bottle of water, and I was really thirsty. It was no big deal. I didn’t die.
Hubz: There is something wrong with you. Why can’t you be afraid of normal things, like drug wars, guns, kidnappings? You’re convinced you’re going to get killed by a Yeti, but you have no fear of running in a war zone.
Me: Yetis are hairy and scary. And they probably smell like dirty feet or moldy cheese.
Hubz: Seriously, please don’t run over there.
Me: Well, so far, no one has agreed to go. Jorge called me a “pusher”. I don’t think it was a compliment.
Hubz: Probably not since you seem to always want to get your friends killed.
Me: You’re just bitter because I didn’t bring you back any Dos Equis last time. I promise to bring some back this time.
Hubz: They sell Dos Equis at Albertson’s. I don’t need you to run to Mexico to get it for me.
Me: But I’m sure it tastes different when I have to risk getting shot for it. See how much I love you?
Hubz: You said it wasn’t dangerous.
Me: Don’t change the subject – I must love you more than you love me.
Hubz: You are messed up.
Happy Running!
Mom, ultrarunner, four-time US 24 Hour National Team member, adventure athlete, food writer. Graduate of the Pro Cooking Program at the New School of Cooking, Los Angeles. Will run for food.
{ 14 comments }
Hilarious! Husbands just don’t understand! 🙂 I did team training last night and told my husband I’d be back late. At 9:00 he was texting me to ask if I was on my way back (2.5 hr drive). At 11:30 I was texting him to let him know we were off the bikes and headed out in the canoe. At 4:20 I climbed into our bed. Guess next time we need to establish what “late” means.
If only I’d thought to grab some Dos Equis…
4:20?! OMG! That is a training session, Kate! Wow! I hope you got to sleep in. And yes, Dos Equis helps 🙂
and that’s why they call her superkate. freaking crazy person.
anyhoo- I’m married to a prosecutor, and he sees Danger lurking everywhere. of course, he generally knows Danger’s name and when they are next due in court. I cannot go anywhere without my debit card because he could up and vanish leaving me with a cart full of groceries, all because he doesn’t want Danger to see us together.
that said, I’m with hubby on this one. that violence has not died down enough yet. and I think it’s safe to travel in the middle east…
I can totally relate – I used to be a prosecutor and quit when I had kids because I’d get creepy phone calls from prison. As you know, I’m already a little demented, so it didn’t take much to push me over the edge 🙂
Sorry Carilyn, but I have to side with the hubdz on this one! Wouldn’t a nice quiet, beautiful, peaceful run in the mountains be nicer – despite the lions,and tigers, and bears oh my!
You sound just like Hubz, Kent – thinks lions and tigers (and Yetis) are safer 🙂
Hilarious!! Thanks for a good giggle. I say go for it!
Thanks, Kirsten! So far none of my “buddies” are up for a border crossing. I think they talked to Hubz!
Funny stuff, but I agree with your husband. No need to take that sort of risk. It’s dangerous enough as it is pretty much everywhere these days, but the other side of the border is taking danger to a new level……
Doesn’t he realise that once a runner has a route in her head it’s pointless trying to argue her out of it. The only person who tells me I can’t do something is me – or a policeman (a border guard counts as a policeman and if he says you can go …) Do you need to carry your passport for this run?
I know, Jeff, everyone seems to agree that it isn’t safe, but sheesh, no one thought I was in danger of getting eaten by a Yeti when I was in CA! “)
I agree, Char! I hate to be told “no”! You just need an ID to travel up to 100 miles from the border. I wasn’t carrying anything last time because I didn’t know we were going to cross over. Luckily they let me back in the US 🙂
This is exactly why I wanted you as one of our writers. You write the funniest and refreshing stuff. I can not wait to hear about this one!
Thanks, Mark! I love writing for Trail and Ultrarunning! I know it’s time for me to write something “serious”, but I’m overtrained and my brain isn’t fully functioning 🙂 I promise to get serious ASAP!
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