Wow! I can’t believe how much my life has changed in the last year! We are now commuting back and forth between El Paso and Los Angeles so that the boys can attend school in California. It seems like a drastic decision to many, but Tim and I felt like it was the best option and an unbelievable opportunity. We have struggled for many years over what to do about the boys schooling. It has caused me many sleepless nights and much anxiety. But it is a problem that many people don’t think is a problem, so you really have no one to confide in, and often, when you finally do, people dismiss you and don’t take you seriously.
Anyway, we feel like we have finally found a good fit. The boys are attending Cal State as part of the Early Entrance Program. Currently, they are just Provisional students, so there is always the chance that it won’t work out. But, so far, they are in heaven! I cannot tell you the relief I feel at finally seeing my kids fitting in with their peer group. It has been really hard and scary to wonder if you are doing the right thing. To listen to people, and know in your gut it is wrong for your situation, is a very stressful combination. We all want everyone to “fall in line” and be the same. But what if we’re not?
But, all of this means that my life has completely changed! We are now spending our weekdays in an apartment in California and our weekends in Texas! It’s crazy! My running had already taken a back seat after Tim’s “unfortunate incident” on Mount Hood last summer, and I have struggled with it. I have not really recovered from the trauma of that day, or the knowledge of the impact my running has on the people around me. I just don’t know what to do with those feelings. I can’t quite outrun them and get excited about racing, no matter how hard I try. I’m still running quite a bit, but I have no immediate race plans. With our life so crazy, I am trying not to add to the turmoil. I hope someday I will make peace with it, but for now, I’m just doing what I need to do.
In the meantime, I am running the most fabulous routes, through the city, and here and there. It is so fun to discover a new place through running!
Happy Running!
Mom, ultrarunner, four-time US 24 Hour National Team member, adventure athlete, food writer. Graduate of the Pro Cooking Program at the New School of Cooking, Los Angeles. Will run for food.
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So, like, you didn’t post forever, and now exploded, and changed the blog, and your life is totally new – and I don’t know a thing, even though scanned back on posts! Why are the boys in CA school? how old are they? Are you really all flying every week? What was the accident on Mt. Hood? And I hear ya about impact of running on those around and other life obligations and fun…at least I think I hear same thing. If you don’t want to respond in blog, email me, please!
Hi Olga! Great to hear from you! Yes, everything is crazy – including me! We are commuting back and forth to LA so that the boys can attend Cal State. It was a very difficult decision, but in the end, we knew it was the right choice. But, because they are only 14, I need to be with them, so we have to fly back and forth. It is fun, but insane!
As far as Tim’s unfortunate incident…remember, he was the one who collapsed at mile 48 and had to be Life Flighted from Government Camp? Having to perform CPR on him during a race in front of kids my changed my feelings about racing. I wanted that feeling to be temporary, but I haven’t been able to shake it. So, for now, I am just running for fun.
I’m still loving reading your blog, so keep posting! Hope to see you soon!
Thanks for response, dear. You are wonderful. Keep at it:)
Carilyn – Wow! Just was thinking of you out of the blue and went to your blog – what changes! It sounds like you and Tim have made some exciting changes. I imagine it is hard on you both but what a gift to your boys to put their education and happiness first. What a fantastic program for the boys! Email me sometime – would love to catch up! Tish (p.s. you’d never believe it, but I’m “running” – not really, just 2 miles on trails with music blaring in my ears to distract me from my huffing and puffing!)
Hi Tish! So great to hear from you! I can’t wait to catch up – I will e-mail so we can “chat”.
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