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You Know I’m Right (Or: Why I Don’t Get Invited To Do Fun Things With Normal People)

by Carilyn on October 24, 2012

Phone call yesterday with my friend, Allison

Allison: Hey, let’s do something fun this weekend.

Me: Like what?

Allison: Let’s go to the Santa Monica Pier. I haven’t been since I was a little kid.

Me: No way.  I refuse to die with a rainbow slushie in my hand.

Allison: What?

Me: The Pier is inherently dangerous. And since you know I will have to get a rainbow slushie immediately upon arrival, I will die with it in my hand.

Allison: How in the world is the Pier inherently dangerous?

Me: Uh, let’s see. An amusement park on a Pier. In earthquake territory. Hello?

Allison: Oh my god, it is completely safe. You’re just being a freak.

Me: Nooooo. I’m being practical. I have no interest in being atop a ferris wheel, slushie in hand, when the tsunami hits.

Allison: Tsunami? I thought you were worried about an earthquake? And did you just say “atop”? That’s almost as weird as being afraid of amusement parks on piers.

Me: Neither of those things are weird. And if the earthquake doesn’t fling me off the ferris wheel, then the subsequent tsunami will drown me. No Santa Monica for me.

Allison: Fine. So what do you want to do?

Me: I can’t do anything with you because I’m going to do a 100 mile trail race in Phoenix.

Allison: Why didn’t you just say that in the first place? Why did we even have this conversation?

Me: Because I was hoping your offer would be better than what I already had planned, but it clearly wasn’t.

Allison: You’re right. Going to run 100 miles in the desert with snakes and stuff is much safer than going to Santa Monica Pier.

Me: I’m more worried about the wild Javelinas. Want to go with me?

Allison: Thanks, but no. I’ll take my chances with the tsunamis.


Happy Running!


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