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You Know I’m Right (Or: Why I Don’t Get Invited To Do Fun Things With Normal People)

by Carilyn on October 24, 2012

Phone call yesterday with my friend, Allison

Allison: Hey, let’s do something fun this weekend.

Me: Like what?

Allison: Let’s go to the Santa Monica Pier. I haven’t been since I was a little kid.

Me: No way.  I refuse to die with a rainbow slushie in my hand.

Allison: What?

Me: The Pier is inherently dangerous. And since you know I will have to get a rainbow slushie immediately upon arrival, I will die with it in my hand.

Allison: How in the world is the Pier inherently dangerous?

Me: Uh, let’s see. An amusement park on a Pier. In earthquake territory. Hello?

Allison: Oh my god, it is completely safe. You’re just being a freak.

Me: Nooooo. I’m being practical. I have no interest in being atop a ferris wheel, slushie in hand, when the tsunami hits.

Allison: Tsunami? I thought you were worried about an earthquake? And did you just say “atop”? That’s almost as weird as being afraid of amusement parks on piers.

Me: Neither of those things are weird. And if the earthquake doesn’t fling me off the ferris wheel, then the subsequent tsunami will drown me. No Santa Monica for me.

Allison: Fine. So what do you want to do?

Me: I can’t do anything with you because I’m going to do a 100 mile trail race in Phoenix.

Allison: Why didn’t you just say that in the first place? Why did we even have this conversation?

Me: Because I was hoping your offer would be better than what I already had planned, but it clearly wasn’t.

Allison: You’re right. Going to run 100 miles in the desert with snakes and stuff is much safer than going to Santa Monica Pier.

Me: I’m more worried about the wild Javelinas. Want to go with me?

Allison: Thanks, but no. I’ll take my chances with the tsunamis.


Happy Running!


{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

pensive pumpkin October 24, 2012 at 8:52 am

My mother made me go in a giant ferris wheel on a pier, within a month of its opening, in downtown Seattle. We had this same conversation as I gripped the seat in terror, realizing there were no handles, and she moved around rocking the damn thing.

You are I are really a lot alike. You’re like the cool version of me. What was the cool version of Urkel, again? ; )

Have fun out in the desert!

Carilyn October 24, 2012 at 8:59 am

We do seem to be remarkably similar, huh? :) But I’m still working on the Halloween stuff – I am just way to chicken!

Kirstin C (@ultrarunnergirl) October 24, 2012 at 10:05 am

You are hilarious. And running 100 is definitely better than Ferris Wheels and slushies.

Carilyn October 24, 2012 at 10:30 am

Thanks, Kirstin! And I hope it is more fun – I will never live it down if I get lost :)

SteveQ October 24, 2012 at 11:26 am

@Pensive Pumpkin: That would be Urkelbot.

Why would you not want to die with a rainbow slushie in your hand? I’m afraid that, after picking up pornographic trash from the roadside, I’ll get hit by a car and people will think I spent my life running just to get to my porn stash.

Carilyn October 24, 2012 at 11:31 am

OMG! You are too funny, Steve!

Anne October 24, 2012 at 6:01 pm

I think the Javelina Jundred is just what you need to shake the monkey on your back and earn a few rainbow slushies on more solid ground.

Carilyn October 24, 2012 at 6:06 pm

I hope so, Anne! I need to do something :)

Char October 24, 2012 at 7:47 pm

If you’re running the Javelina Jundred you’ll have to say hello to Cory –

It always blows my mind that more than one person actually wants to run 100 miles. Have fun out there avoiding snakes and scorpions and random tsunamis.

Cory Reese October 24, 2012 at 8:04 pm

Just found your site from Char who saw that I was doing the Javelina Jundred also. See you in a few days!

Rob October 24, 2012 at 8:28 pm

If you get near the ferris wheel, you might end up in some redo of The Five People You Meet In Heaven. The whole story gets underway because of a problem on a ferris wheel. The ultra is by far the safer activity.

Carilyn October 25, 2012 at 8:59 am

I sure hope so, Rob! :)

Carilyn October 25, 2012 at 8:59 am

Can’t wait to meet you, Cory!

Carilyn October 25, 2012 at 9:00 am

Thanks, Char! I will add scorpions to my list :)

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