Fear is such a strange beast. We all experience it, but in completely different ways. Things I am deathly afraid of aren’t even on others’ radars. Fears are much like food preferences; there is a deeply innate quality to them. I personally hate olives and hard boiled eggs no matter how hard I have tried to like them, but other people (like my son) love them. Who knows what makes people like or dislike certain tastes. And who knows what makes us afraid of certain things.
With Western States looming on the horizon, I’m having to tackle some of my innate fears. This has got me thinking about me level of fearfulness v. fearlessness. There doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason.
Things I Am Afraid Of:
1. Wild mammals – mountain lions, loose dogs, cows, buffalo, and hairy rodents.
2. Heights
3. Getting lost
4. Lightning
5. Losing control
6. Being bad at something
7. Technology
8. Being with too many people, feeling crowded
9. Being emotionally vulnerable
10. Los Angeles freeways
Things I’m Not Afraid Of:
1. Sharks, snakes, spiders (I can’t explain how it works with number 1 above. It just is.)
2. The dark
3. Being physically uncomfortable
4. Challenges – physical, mental, or performance
5. Scary weather (except lightning)
6. Travel
7. New people, situations
8. Tight spaces
9. Being physically vulnerable
10. Being alone
So many of my fears are going to be played out at Western States, but I know it is time to face them – and hope I survive. I at least want to know I have tried.
What do you fear? What are you unafraid of that is unusual?
Happy Running!
Mom, ultrarunner, four-time US 24 Hour National Team member, adventure athlete, food writer. Graduate of the Pro Cooking Program at the New School of Cooking, Los Angeles. Will run for food.
{ 4 comments }
I’ll take 2 and 8 on first list and swap 1’s between lists. Beyond that, I have only fears about my kids either not doing well enough to live in the world, or not having a relationship with them.
I’ve seen how you have no fear on trails, Olga – and it is so cool! I wish I were braver about that. And I know what you mean about the kids’ stuff – those are fears that can keep you up at night.
I would think #1,2,3,4,5,6 and 9 would be all potentials in your race. But every ultra would expose you to at least a few on your fear list. But I guess it’s the things on your do-not-fear list that keep you coming back.
Yes, so true, Char. I also want to keep pushing into the areas in which I’m afraid. I worry if I start giving into my fears now, I will just slide all the way into a recliner in front of the television 🙂
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