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Did You Just Call Me Fat? (Or: How Caller ID Will Keep You From Getting An Unnecessary Boob Job)

by Carilyn on October 30, 2012

Phone call with my non-running friend, Leslie:

Leslie: So, I read your blog post about your race. I don’t get it.

Me: What part?

Leslie: The whole thing.

Me: That’s a lot.

Leslie: Explain it to me.

Me: Explain what?

Leslie: Like how you can run for 78 miles and get fatter. What’s the point?

Me: I didn’t get fatter, I got bloated.

Leslie: Whatever. You got bigger AFTER running for hours. Isn’t that like the exact opposite purpose of exercise?

Me: Well, yes, but like I said, I didn’t get fatter. It was temporary.

Leslie: And you puked for a couple of hours?

Me: Yes, unfortunately, that’s usually part of it.

Leslie: AND you ended bigger than you started? After hours of running AND puking?

Me: Okay, I’m not going to keep having this conversation. I DID NOT get fatter!

Leslie: Basically, it sucks AND you get fatter. Great sport.

Me: Whatever. I see you didn’t like the post.

Leslie: The only thing that made any sense was that you needed to get a boob job.

Me: I have to go.

Leslie: I’m just sayin’.

Lesson: Check caller ID after a race and don’t answer calls from non-runners. Or, just lie in your race reports.


Happy Running!


{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

SteveQ October 30, 2012 at 8:12 am

Your last post actually left me speechless, so I’m glad someone else took up the slack and made it weird. I’m tempted to add a link here I found of video of a woman with enormous breast implants jogging – looks more than uncomfortable.

Carilyn October 30, 2012 at 8:25 am

Oh no! I never want to leave anyone speechless :) And trust me, I have plenty of people who are willing to take up the slack and make it weird! :)

Kate October 30, 2012 at 11:46 am

Non-runners do not get it. Non-riders don’t get it either. I’m always hearing “why do you fall so much??”, and no one understands that the GOOD people (a group in which I don’t belong) fall too…because they’re doing harder stuff. One of my (first grade) students suggested in all sincerity that I get training wheels. 😛

Carilyn October 30, 2012 at 11:56 am

That is too cute, Kate! And maybe training wheels are my answer :)

Char October 30, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Has she never blown up a balloon? Or gotten bloated after an ill-advised drink of milk (stupid lactose intolerance)?

Kirstin C (@ultrarunnergirl) October 31, 2012 at 7:46 am

HA! You are so hilarious Carilyn.
Way to get out there and give it your all, no matter the outcome!

Carilyn October 31, 2012 at 7:50 am

Thanks, Kirstin! I had waaaaaaaay too much time to think on that run :)

Carilyn October 31, 2012 at 7:52 am

This is LA, Char :) There is very little tolerance for any activity that makes you bigger at the end :)

Marcia October 31, 2012 at 6:45 pm

THought of you and your 100 miler all weekend. Need to go read up now!

Carilyn November 1, 2012 at 8:18 am

It was fun AND miserable :)

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